This song will always have a special place in my heart. I was trying to describe some speck of the all-encompassing wonder that I just experienced. "I don't have no safety rope climbing up the wall." I think the utter depth of this line very often slips by me. The sensation that "This is it." There's no putting it off, no "I can do it later". It's "I have to do this right now or I'm done." And there's something of that present in me now as I put myself out in the cold to write this. "I don't have no hang glider for my upcoming fall" Even more so. In this there isn't a challenge, I'm just falling into the chaotic unknown. There is no place for grasping here. You either fall screaming and flailing, or you fall with grace and faith. And it's just that, falling into absurdity, unknown, the Mystery and having not the slightest clue what awaits but saying "Yes, I trust" this is what this song is, and the challenge of life. Love guides. It is the trust that God loves me, that Being is Good, that it's all worth it, this is what I'm affirming in this song. And it's not that it won't hurt, that it won't be scary, that you won't be exposed, but trusting in that pain that a good transcends it all. It's not logical, it's not a matter of reason, it's even beyond faith in a way. It's a simple choosing of 'Yes' over 'No' in spite of the knowledge that 'No' will always be present. "Help me steer," it can be as simple as choosing love over fear. "Kill my fear" That's what love does. It's a symbol of pureness that can align your choices. Do the thing that shares an essence with love and the world will unfold with beauty, always. I write my heart on the page now as an act of love. To practice. I sing this song from my soul as an act of love. A good life is filled with repetitious and daily practice in love. Developing habits that even when we forget the depth, forget that love is all, we are still acting out love. So I connect with friends and loved ones, and I write and sing from my heart, I remind myself to care, all so that when the moment of truth is upon me, I remember. I am guided, it is my very nature: To choose love.
lyrics
I don't have no safety rope
Climbing up the wall
No one here to give me hope
No one round at all
I don't have no hang glider
For my upcoming fall
First time in my life that I
I'm prepared to die
Something good is keeping me here
Hold onto me and help me steer
Give me the balls to stay alive
And ask what's really going on
Pushed off the deep end
Learning how to swim
Drowning is inevitable
But I'm determined to win
I don't have no life vest
As I breath the water in
It fills up my lungs
But I don't have to run
Something good is keeping me here
Hold onto me and kill my fear
Give me the balls to stay alive
And ask what's really going on
I think it's something love
Hanging on the brink of time
Seconds pass like days
I've been here before I said
But it's all a haze
There is not a kill switch
There's no saving grace
You just have to let go
And then you get to know
That something good is keeping me here
Hold onto me and keep reality near
Give me the balls to stay alive
And ask what's really going on
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